As I read the part in chapter 13 when August and Lily were looking at the box with Deborah's things, I couldn't stop wondering if seeing her mothers things, made Lily miss her? Or feel some sort of connection with her? After being mad at her and throwing the honey jars at the Mary, did seeing her mother's things make Lily less mad at her mom, or just make her forget about being mad at her mom?
I think that lack of knowledge and connection she had with her mom made it different to see all her old stuff. Instead of remembering her and feeling angry or happy about it, it was more of a learning experience seeing what her mom liked and just all her stuff in general.
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